At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
