how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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