Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
