i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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