Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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