David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
