I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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