i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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