have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
