He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
