Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
