She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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