Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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