I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
