we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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