Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
