he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
