i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
