That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we're making bets on your personal life
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
