so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize