Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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