Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
