We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
