How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize