At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my being single is dangerous.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
