some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
