I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
