In the future we'll all be gay
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
