I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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