No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
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