I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I need to align my fucking chakras
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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