I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
