problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She even gives head with a lisp.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
