Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
