O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
