your parents love me but you hate me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
