Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
