Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
