I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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