he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize