Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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