Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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