i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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