I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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