similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
