garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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