We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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