he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
