dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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