Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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