I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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