thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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