We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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