yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
