Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
