I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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