I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
