Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
