Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize