he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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