Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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