So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
