This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
