I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
