I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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