Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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