After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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