O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
