apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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